What If Your Best Isn’t Good Enough?

“Realize that everyone that you think is perfect feels like they’re not good enough, too.”  — Alessia Cara

The Olympics just took place and while it is amazing to watch top athletes compete, they only give out medals for first through third. We have all been in situations where we have given it our all. Preparing for the big race. Studying for that major test. Prepping endlessly for an interview. Going over the whole checklist before hosting a party. Then the big event or activity happens and you fail. You did everything you could, put all your energy into it and still didn’t succeed. What do you do when your best wasn’t good enough?

Nothing hits an athlete as hard as dedicating years of intense training for a single event, and then not performing as expected. In fact, many athletes open up about the extreme pressures and negative mental impacts of competition¹. This feeling, on some level, affects everyone. What do you do if you gave it your all and you fail? First, you pick yourself up and sit with your feelings². Your best is how your got to where you are and you became your current best self through systematic failures and overcoming them. Then look at what your perception or definition is around what “success” means³. Is it a healthy, obtainable definition? Or is it impossible and will always result in defeat? Finally, how can you improve both how you feel and your future approach⁴.

Nobody can be the best at everything all the time, especially considering how many factors there are. In reality, the curse of being the best at something sets the bar for someone else to beat. When someone takes a world record, they are taking it from the last person to be the best. It feels horrible to fail, but failure is the path to greater success. If you succeed at everything all of the time, then there would be no reason to push to be better. See failures as that push. Use them as motivation to improve. When they happen, take a step back, reflect, learn, and move forward.

Action: Reflect on a recent failure. How can you learn and move forward to be better?

Further Reading:

1. Athletes Share Their Mental Health Coping Strategies
2. How To Cope When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough
3. “How to accept your best might not be enough?”
4. 5 Ways to Deal With Feelings of Not Being Good Enough