How to Use Self-Reflection for Personal Growth Without Self-Criticism

“The beatings will continue until morale improves.” — Captain Bligh

Everyone has room for improvement. Self-reflection is a way to learn about yourself and constantly get better. Though too much reflection can cause a downward spiral into a world of depression and self-loathing, neither of which are healthy areas to be in. Instead of beating yourself up for making an inappropriate comment or eating your third cupcake, learn to healthily reflect.

Getting better requires some level of self analysis. Yet, it absolutely matters how you approach it. As stated, over analyzation of the self can have extremely negative affects. Pathological levels of reflection are associated with depression and anxiety1. The opening quote of this post is a hilarious irony, yet people constantly take this approach with themselves. But pointing at yourself and saying, “You suck” doesn’t help things get better. In fact, evidence shows that elevated levels of self-focus are present in cases of depression, social anxiety, and social phobias2. Not great.

So then, what is the right way? Focus more on insight than reflection. Insight can be defined as an intuitive understanding of ourselves and is not the same as introspection3. People with high levels of insight tend to feel more in control of their lives4. To gain more insight, ask yourself “What” instead of “Why” questions5. Asking “What” helps keep you more open to discovering new information about yourself. It also keeps you away from the downward spirals of “Why” questioning. “What did that action do for me?” can help you build a more complex understanding of yourself rather than “Why did I do that?”.

Action: Only ask yourself “What” questions this week to gain more insight into yourself.

Further Reading:

  1. The neuropsychology of self-reflection in psychiatric illness
  2. SELF-FOCUSED ATTENTION: COMMONALITIES ACROSS PSYCHOPATHOLOGIES AND PREDICTORS
  3. The Self-Reflection and Insight Scale: A new measure of private self-consciousness
  4. Insight, Rumination, and Self-Reflection as Predictors of Well-Being
  5. Self-Awareness: Why vs. What

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