Be the Person You Want to Follow

“There is no need to throw me to the wolves. They come when I call.”  — Unknown

It can be easy to idolize a person who says whatever they are thinking, no matter how factual or rude. The internet loves to highlight bizarre, hysterical, or outright insane posts/comments. As much attention as these individuals might get, evidence supports people would rather follow those with vision, high empathy, and a collaborative attitude. Strive to be the person you would like to follow.

Wolf pack hierarchies have been misunderstood for decades. Stories referring to the alpha male ruling the pack as a merciless dictator are false and outdated. Packs are run as families and take care of one another¹. The same goes for the old school version of a boss, ruthlessly yelling their employees into submission to bend them towards their vision. When polled, a majority (74%) of employees want their managers to demonstrate a leadership style focused on empathy and a supportive attitude². CEOs write about the ABCs (architect, bridger, and catalyst) aimed at building the culture and capabilities for co-creation³. Unsurprisingly, the same approach to family in the form of authoritative parenting – guiding kids through open and honest discussions to teach values and reasoning – is highly ranked by psychologists⁴.

A positive and open minded approach does not mean you constantly roll over in the face of disagreement. Never mistake kindness for weakness. Instead, cultivate a safe environment where discussion and differing ideas are welcomed. Then, once a decision is made, encourage and enforce commitment to that path. Be the person you want to follow. Your wolf pack will not follow you if you are cruel and self-serving, they will come because you are loved and respected.

Action: Cultivate open discussion at work and/or with your family. Come to a decision, enforce, and move forward. Repeat.

Further Reading:

1. Is the Alpha Wolf Idea a Myth?
2. Research Shows These 5 Qualities Make You A More Effective Leader
3. What Makes a Great Leader?
4. Here’s what makes ‘authoritative parents’ different from the rest—and why psychologists say it’s the best parenting style