You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

“Up to 95% of a person’s success or failure is determined by their reference group, or the people they associate with most.”  — David McClelland of Harvard University

The quality of people in your life is important, as you tend to become who you surround yourself with. This blog is full of posts on how relationships enhance life, but this is dependent upon those relationships being positive. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It is critical to be aware of the people in your inner circle, because they are a major factor in driving who you turn out to be.

Who you hang out with can affect everything from your success at work to your overall health. A toxic friendship can be detrimental to your mental health¹. Your circles, however, do not have to be as extreme as ‘toxic’ to bring you down. Over the course of four years, a study of Air Force Cadets showed the determining factor of increased fitness of the squadrons (30 cadets) was the motivation of the least fit person in the group². People with low self-control value that attribute in others, and can even use it to boost their own³. When it comes to leadership, not having access to a mentor can lead to increased poor choices. Even our physiology can recognize a positive reference group. Research showed blood pressure to lessen when talking about a supportive friend rather than a friend the individual feels ambivalent about⁴.

Surrounding yourself with the right people sets you up for success in both personal life and business⁵. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. Be in tune with the people you spend time with. Are your friends judgey and negative? Are your coworkers cutthroat and prone to backstabbing? Life is too short to allow these negative variables in your circle. All signs point to the fact you will become like who you are around. Choose your people wisely and set yourself up for success.

Action: Evaluate your personal and business circles. What is their affect on you? What changes do you need to make?

Further Reading:

1. 8 Signs of a Toxic Friendship
2. IS POOR FITNESS CONTAGIOUS? EVIDENCE FROM RANDOMLY ASSIGNED FRIENDS
3. Riding other people’s coattails: individuals with low self-control value self-control in other people
4. On the importance of relationship quality: The impact of ambivalence in friendships on cardiovascular functioning
5. Surrounding Yourself With The Right People Changes Everything