Tricks to Navigate Family Dynamics

“I had a great teacher in India who said to me, ‘If you think you’re spiritual and evolved and enlightened, go home for Christmas.’” — Elizabeth Gilbert

For the holidays, or any gathering, everyone desires the picture-perfect family, sitting in social media-ready positions around the fire, having the best time with one another. But the reality is this usually isn’t the case. Most family dynamics are complex and require some form of navigation. In many instances, they can be downright stressful.

The scenario can be as simple as an annoying aunt who won’t stop asking everyone when they are getting married, or as serious as a family member struggling with mental health issues. These family dynamics can have serious affects, with unhealthy dynamics correlating with an increased risk of substance use, addiction, and depression¹. You can’t control the actions of others, but you can control your own. Set yourself up for success during the holidays by mentally preparing for potential questions or events which might happen and be ready for them. Think positively about the upcoming experience and focus on what you look forward to². Be present with your family/friends and if something comes up which starts to trigger you, practice empathy and let it roll off your back³.

Family brings both positives and negatives to every gathering. Be proactive and have jobs ready for everyone, then let them do it their way⁴. Certainly don’t see it as a time to ‘fix’ anyone. Remember your manners and avoid hot button topics like politics or religion. Hilariously, think that other family members might be employing these same strategies ahead of seeing you. Keep in mind that no family is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can’t really enjoy each other for who each of you are. So breathe deep, keep your cool, and embrace the love of family and friends.

Action: Implement techniques to be less stressed about upcoming family/friends gatherings. Not stressed? Be there for someone who is.

Further Reading:

1. Family Dynamics
2. How to Deal With Difficult Family Members
3. 7 Strategies to Deal With Difficult Family Members
4. 3 easy strategies for dealing with difficult relatives