Never Wave the White Flag

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” – Seneca

There are very few situations in life where you will have zero obstacles in front of your goal. To live is to experience distractions, loses, and setbacks on the way to victories. Some can be minor, others can be entirely life-changing. No matter how bad, never throw your hands up and quit. Instead, adapt and overcome.

Obstacles come in many forms. Small things such as a line at the grocery store or a streaming service starting the next episode when you should be doing homework. Larger setbacks can occur such as divorce, bad investments, or failing out of university. A common response to setbacks is escapism; examples such as taking trips to get away, immersing oneself in busywork, drinking/eating excessively, or avoiding discussing the situation with family and friends¹. This response not only adds zero value towards solving the issue(s) at hand, but is often destructive to yourself. If not handled properly, experiencing an upset increases the likelihood of subsequent failure and decreases the chances of subsequent success, potentially forcing you into a downward spiral².

Some problems can seem insurmountable and can cause intense responses. Such deep emotions, i.e. rage or depression, are shown to impair your judgement and reasoning³. Unless you are dead, there are always options. When a setback happens, stop, breathe, and remind yourself of your strengths⁴. The idea is to lessen the intense emotions and build your courage, which can provide enough inner strength to buffer the stress in high-risk circumstances⁵.

Best as you might try, it is impossible to be your best all the time and sometimes a tactical retreat is necessary. Make sure it is truly thought out and use the time to reset. Reflect on the situation, review you goals, develop a new plan, and then implement. When your setback throws you to the wolves don’t wave the white flag, come back leading the pack.

Action: Experiencing a setback? Stop, develop a new plan, then execute. If not, then look ahead for potential pitfalls and make plans to avoid them.

Disclaimer: Some situations can be extremely challenging. It is strongly recommended to seek the help of a licensed professional if you are deeply struggling.

Further Reading:

1. Coping with Job Transitions over the Work Life
2. Understanding the setback effect in everyday self-regulation
3. Why do bad moods increase self-defeating behavior? Emotion, risk taking, and self-regulation
4. How The Most Determined People Deal With Setbacks
5. The effect of courage on stress: The mediating mechanism of behavioral inhibition and behavioral activation in high-risk occupations