Don’t Be a Jerk

“Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.” – Margaret Walker

Over the years, the rules of etiquette have evolved with societal and technological advancements, but they are still as important today, as ever. The argument could be made they are even more important today with the overall decline in personal interaction. People still need people and how you present yourself to others directly influences their interactions with you.

It is not challenging to see why manners are still important. Good manners make partners more attractive. Additionally, classy interactions leave a more positive memory with others in regards to social situations (work, errands, etc.)¹. One study worked to deconstruct certain etiquette – in this case gift giving – and found it was not the extravagance of a gift but its personalization². The Golden Rule is taught to children: do onto others as you would have them do to you. Evidence supports this idea dates all the way back to Ancient Egypt with parallels in many cultures and religions³.

It might be tempting to dismiss something which has been around since Ancient Egypt, pointing to modern technology and advancement in social norms or ethics. We would argue certain things are ageless, such as being mindful of yourself and others while always treating people with respect. A study in nursing homes showed an increase in personalized care when leadership focused on the Golden Rule⁴. Manners and respect are major drivers for the top-listed attribute of high performing teams: psychological safety^{5, 6}.

The Golden Rule is a good place to start, but it is only the first layer. The world is a large and diverse place, so it makes sense etiquette would differ between cultures⁷. For instance, in some areas it is never polite to eat with your hands, while others find it acceptable, even preferred. Take the time to learn what is considered polite in your location. Before traveling, look up what is socially acceptable there. Be mindful of how you treat others. Treat people with respect and reflect upon ways to improve. At the end of the day: don’t be a jerk.

Action: Examine your etiquette. Be conscious of how you speak and interact with others. Work to improve.

Hint: One of our favorite phrases is “Leave everything better than you found it”.

Further Reading:

1. Observation of Manners and Their Effects on Attractiveness and Desirability
2. Good manners: signaling social preferences
3. Golden Rule
4. “The Golden Rule”: Only a starting point for quality care
5. Why The Golden Rule Is Still Golden And How Businesses Can Embrace It
6. Project Aristotle – re:Work – Google
7. Manners around the world