“Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” – Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings
In terms of the universe, there is no such thing as a singular ending or beginning. To remind ourselves of this, we like to think of life (our own and other’s) in terms of eras. One of your eras may be ending in the form of moving out for college, buying a new home, resigning from a job, or death. At that exact moment another era is beginning, i.e. an opposite but parallel list to the one just provided. Transitioning eras is essential for growth and progress. All life is a combination of endings and beginnings, so it makes sense to get the most out of them.
The ending of eras can be filled with mixed emotions, whether joyful or downright painful. It’s human nature to hold onto what is comfortable and, in some instances, forcibly resist upcoming change. Change happens whether you resist it or not, so we are advocates of positive attitude and maximizing every moment. Studies don’t point to a single right way to transition, but they have certainly found wrong approaches. If you’re leaving your job, don’t burn bridges1. Instead of looking bitterly towards death, reflect upon it as it is shown to increase intrinsic motivation, decrease greed, and increase gratitude2. Talk with your family and plan the transition from home to university to help lessen the stress3.
Never fear entering a new era. Avoidance is hardly the answer for success. Enjoy the journey and be mindful of the transition. Be your best self and focus on how to live in the moment, even if that moment is challenging. Utilize techniques to help center yourself such as unplugging, appreciating nature (including the moon), or leaning into your support system. Eras can be exciting, challenging, or depressing, but are always ever changing. Remember, it will never be like this again.
Action: Reflect on your current era. Where are you in it? Is it coming to a close? What era is coming next? How can you maximize the transition?
Hint: It never hurts to approach changes of eras with class4.
Further Reading:
- How to Quit Your Job Without Burning Bridges
- Death and gratitude: Death reflection enhances gratitude
- Bridging the Gap: Exploring the Unique Transition From Home, School or College Into University
- The top 10 traits of a truly classy person
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