It’s OK If Things Aren’t What You Expected

“No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.”  — Julius Caesar

In every scenario there are infinite variables at play of how events will turn out. All of us have expectations of outcomes. The perfect attendance for a party or a flawless itinerary in regards to an expensive vacation. It’s reasonable to plan as best you can, this helps target success. It is also OK if things aren’t what you expected.

It can be insanely frustrating when something is not going as planned. Hours, days, or years of effort and setting expectations can start to nose dive without the proper framing. Just because something isn’t going as planned, doesn’t mean it’s not going well. If things take a left turn, there are some approaches to help cope and adjust. First, breathe. This is just kind of a life thing. Remind yourself you did all you could to prepare. Don’t waste energy on “what if’s”, accept the situation as is and use that energy to focus on solutions in the now. Make decisions and take actions on those solutions¹. Giving up in frustration is rarely the best option.

Much of this comes down to understanding limits of control². Accept you can’t control everything. This approach of acceptance and then taking action scales fairly well. Bomb an interview? Reflect on why and change your tactics for the next one. Run into issues with a project? Get the group together and brainstorm ideas on a path forward. Nothing will ever go perfectly, and that is OK.

Action: Use acceptance techniques for things that don’t go as expected this week.

Further Reading:

1. When Things Don’t Go as Planned
2. Depression, Anxiety and Overwhelm: How To Move forward When Things Don’t Go According to Plan