Friendship Takes Work

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Like many things in life, something worth having isn’t easy to gain, nor maintain. Friendship is no different. As life progresses through stages, so do friendships. During childhood, friendship is driven primarily by proximity; i.e. via living quarters, school, activities, etc. Friends come and go as you move through mandatory schooling then into university, trade school, and/or into the workforce. Friendships during this time seem easy to come by, an ample pool of convenience lead to large groups of shallow connectors. With the convenience it is easy to develop a cavalier attitude towards investing in friendship.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t take your conveniences into consideration. As careers progress and families enter the picture, friendships start to change. At one point, a single phone call or text message would result in a house full of partiers. Then you blink, and the same output yields diminished results. Friends’ and personal priorities shift to never ending to-do lists and family. How can someone who you were inseparable with years before now seem like nothing more than an acquaintance? How could raging house parties have transformed to smaller group gatherings? These are natural maturations, but they do not have to be negative.

Friendship is something which requires work and dedication from both sides. It flourishes through continual investment and upkeep. When you have five minutes and you decide not to reach out to that someone who has been on your mind, it is a deliberate action against that friendship. Take the time to connect. Not someone who likes to talk on the phone? Text. Want a coffee? Schedule a meet up at the local café. All of your friends are abroad? Use an app to catch up (with or without video).

A typical question often comes up — how many friends are enough? Do you want a raging house party or an intimate gathering? These are deeply personal questions which touch upon topics of extroverted vs. introverted personalities. The important point is there is no right answer. Studies show rewarding friendship(s) lead to happier lives, regardless of numbers. Friendship(s), in any quantity, can result in laughter, conversation, a comrade in arms, and numerous other benefits. An example of a studied psychological effect is diminishing the perception of daunting tasks. Whether your aim is one best friend or hundreds of friends, the approach is the same — reach out and invest.

Action: Reach out to a friend and catch up.

Further Reading:

Harvard Study Of Adult Development – 75-year-old study on adult development

Social Support and the Perception of Geographical Slant